My God, it was wonderful. Craig Ferguson in concert, I mean. So wonderful in fact, it’s taken three days for me to put it into words. I still can’t. Counterproductive for a blog, I know. Dammit, I should have taken notes. Sorry, too busy laughing my ass off.

OK, let me get the parts I didn’t enjoy out of the way.

First, the opening act, Randy Kagan. Nothing personal, Randy, but I didn’t think you were funny. OK, that’s pretty personal. Sorry, man. Didn’t appreciate you calling women “pudding.” Not cool, not cool.

Next, the seemingly deaf dudes sitting behind me. I swear, they were the Gen Y equivalent of Stadler and Waldorf.

“What’d he say?”

“He said he has a huge c—k.”

“A huge what?”

“A HUGE C—K!”

“Ohhhh. I don’t get it.”

Shut up, dudes.

And finally, the one lady in the back who would not stop laughing. At all. Really hard to hear Craig set up a new joke when Madame Hysteria is bubbling over from too many margaritas. Reminds me of a line from Who Framed Roger Rabbit: “You know what happens when you can’t stop laughing? One of these days, you’re gonna die laughing.” Lady, you came painfully close.

Granted, people had to deal with my own annoying habit: reciting jokes in sync with Craig. I did it with his bits about Deep Purple, Sean Connery, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Scooby Doo, Belgium, his mom, bananas, and his anatomy (grabbed often — and with gusto — by the man himself. I ain’t complaining). I couldn’t help it. I had instant recall from when I first saw (and embraced!) him in Boston. And I do it when I’m watching The Late Late Show at home. Guilty as charged.

I was so very tempted to sneak into the after party at the hotel bar next door (see the Paramount’s Ken Stein’s account here), but I was hindered by the presence of Austin’s finest. Could’ve gone to the Rainbow Cattle Co. for a little gay line dancing (the best kind, I imagine) too, but Nici and I decided it was too far to walk in heels.

But it was all wonderful — every bit. And I can’t wait to see it all again Jan. 5 at Bass Hall. I’ll have much better access, thanks to a forthcoming backstage pass from my new hero, Mike Price. God bless you, Mike, and God bless you, Craig Ferguson.